Sunday, January 01, 2012

twenty. twelve.

And here it is. I re write everything now days, not letting my mind just rush on to the pages and my thoughts pour out anymore. It is a strange thing really, for me to hold in what I am thinking. But I suppose for this one post I will be open minded and let you in. And let myself come to know why twentyeleven maybe have possibly.. inevitably been the best year.

v. changed, chang-ing, chang-es
a. to cause to be different
b. to undergo alteration

And you now have taken me to twentytwelve and I'm not exactly sure what to think about it yet.I know a year ago I would have never guessed this is where I would be. But doesn't that happen to most all of us? We think that life will stay the same. We hope that the minuets that pass by will not lead to some type of change in life.  Or maybe.. I'm crazy. And I'm the only one who wishes that time would not bring change to the table.

Twentyeleven. You surprised me.You brought me to feel vulnerable and pure happiness. You brought me to challenges that made me grow up. You brought me to long nights in the hospital room and catching snow flakes on my tongue.  You brought me to loose my best friend, and then brought me to different people that have made an influences in my life. You brought me to fall in love and feel the heartache, oh the heartache. You brought old friends back into my life, that have changed the way I am. You brought me to kisses on 11/11/11 at 11:11. You brought me to slow dances and the start of college applications.  You brought me to caps flying in the air and thoughts of having one last year of high school. You brought me to the one week in the summer that changed everything. You brought me to tears and to surprises. You brought me to love in-and-out. You brought me to a job and to dancing again. You brought to trails and learning to kick them in the butt. With determination in my eyes as I said, 'watch me conquer this'. You brought me two car accidents and the anticipation of gaining trust back. You brought me to journals piled with ticket stubs and lyrics of songs that only a few would know.

And in the end,

You brought me to change the way I am. Change the way I view others, the way I treat others. You brought me to change the people in my life. Change in a new outlook on life over the past few months. You have brought me to crave change and accept it as Gods gift. You brought change in my attitude.

Twentytwelve will let me throw my own graduation cap in the air and say I finally did it. It will bring new people and a new destination of living. It will bring professors that wish to out smart you and many prayers vocal and silent prayers to help deal with all the craziness.

But all I ask. Twentytwelve. Help me to remember to floss more often. Oh, and let that boy find a way back into my life. I sure do miss him. Help me to remember my prayers and to get up a little bit earlier in the mornings.

1 comment:

  1. your writing is lovely.
    it kind of depresses me.
    but i love you anyways.